I misinterpreted, apparently

like there comes a point where you think something is fundamentally wrong with you. and then it turns out it’s just Friday and you haven’t washed your hair in three days and maybe you’re also just a little lonely and the combination of all three of those things is whittling a hole into your chest every time you breathe. but also the sun’s up. and you’ve survived everything so far, so you’ll survive this too, even if it hurts, even if you have to survive it many times.

telling your therapist “I get really frustrated because I feel like when I started therapy I laid all of this stuff out for you and was also able to identify where things were coming from and the root causes of various things, and it feels incredibly unfair that while most people learn how to do that in therapy, at some point I had to figure out how to do that by myself”

and having him look me in the eye and go, “Yeah, that’s pretty accurate to how I’d describe how this process started with you. Most people don’t start therapy running like you did,” is a whole other experience

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